DEAR ABBY: I have been married for a long time, and I am seriously considering leaving him. We have nothing in common anymore. I am active and walk, bike, play golf and lift weights. My wife is 100% sedentary and wants no part of any of these activities that could keep us both healthy. It has taken a toll on her to the point where she has become obese and has mobility issues. Even a small amount of effort stretches it, which lets me do almost anything. I didn’t stop to take care of someone because he didn’t take care of himself.
For a long time, I became friendly with a woman who is active and healthy like me. We have much more in common than just being active. She tells me she loves my intelligence and what a great career I’ve had. I never received support from my wife. I’m tired of being a slave. I want a partner. Your thoughts? — FIT IN NEW YORK
DEAR FIT: I think your marriage started to fail before you met this active, health-conscious woman. As such, you are emotionally divorced before you are legally divorced. Talk to a lawyer, then tell your wife that you haven’t felt emotionally supported by her for a long time and that you want a divorce so you can be with someone whose interests and lifestyle are closer to yours. From what you wrote, I doubt that your marriage could be saved by counseling because, emotionally, you have already moved on.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
